In almost every public area we’ve visited in India, there are modified accommodations for ladies (and children). On the bus, a front section of seats will be reserved for women. When going through security checks at the airport and shopping malls, there are lines designed for each gender. When you reach the point for the metal baton detector check, a curtained off box or roughly screened off area is made available for a woman to stand in while being scanned. The security personnel conducting the baton scanning is always females for females, and males for males. Sometimes I’ll even bypass the scanning completely if women personnel are not available at the checkpoint. Grantland and I have also noticed that when traveling in India, when we are solicited for business, he is usually approached and addressed, and I am not. This seems in line with what I understand is typical in patriarchal societies like India, China and other parts of Asia. I’ve also been told that in more rural parts of India, you should never, never speak to females – only to males (though perhaps this rule does not if it’s female-to-female conversation?).
From the Indian weddings we’ve attended, we’ve learned that in Hindu society it is typical for the newly married bride to leave her family and hometown to go live with the new husband’s family. I was involved in a conversation on campus with a couple of Indian students and a South African exchange student which I thought was a succinct explanation and characterization the Indian bride in traditional Hindu society. We had all just attended the wedding of one of the ISB students and saw the two brand new cars that he would be receiving as gifts from the bride’s family. Marcel, the South African student, was explaining that it is typical in African weddings for the groom’s family to give the bride’s family many gifts during the ceremonies. He described that the new bride can be seen as an asset that the bride’s family is losing, so the groom’s family tries to compensate with lots of presents. I think the conversation started because Marcel was wondering why the bride’s family is giving the groom additional gifts, because he is already gaining the bride. The Indian students explained that the bride’s family gives the groom a lot of gifts to ensure that he will be very nice to the bride – i.e., no asset trading there. The conversation ended in laughter when the Israeli exchange student joined and teasingly asked his wife, “Why didn’t your father give me any cars when I married you?”
Our friend Teena, a female student at ISB, told us that in her hometown, Chittorgarh of the Rajasthan area, considered a notoriously conservative area of India, a marriageable, grown-up girl (late teens, early twenties) has to make a decision: a) marriage and family (give up school too), or b) school and career. When I asked if a girl chose option b), couldn’t she simply marry and have a family later? Teena answered yes, but I got the impression that perhaps the girl wasn’t seen as an ideal candidate or it was more difficult to find potential husbands for an arranged marriages.
At first, I was a little bit peeved when I wasn’t addressed when we were out and about for items sold or services rendered - it’s just not what I’m used to as a female in the United States. But when I was jokingly complaining about this fact to our friend Axel, he exclaimed in his French accent: “And you are complaining about this BECAUSE…????” I laughed at that because I realized he was right. Not being approached due to my gender does indeed save me a lot of solicitation harassment - sometimes really aggressive harassment.
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